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How Understanding Divorce Can Help Your Marriage

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Law Office of Dana L. White

How Understanding Divorce Can Help Your Marriage

Until death do us part. When we get married, we hope for the best in building a life together, and perhaps a family. Yet, as a friend of mine once said, “Do not leave soiled socks all over the house.”  We may not always consider all of our hopes, but one that we should always hold true is this: Until demise do us part. Because weddings are bound together by decisions, in wedlock and divorce. If you want to understand what makes a marriage work, you need to also consider how wedlock may conclude.

Divorce becomes most clear when we look upon the silent rules of marriage. And everyone needs to understand these rules, because understanding can help us create better unions from the start.  And, that means we should endeavor to protect what matters most — what is most important to us!

A couple of themes I want to throw on the table for you to consider. One, relinquishing your will must be considered a simple exchange. Two, you will never receive such thing as free child care. And three, what is yours probably becomes ours. So I would like to speak about each of these themes.

First, sacrifice must be a pure exchange. Take the example of Lisa and Andy. Lisa decides to study  medicine, and Andy works to support them. And Andy works night shifts to do that, and he likewise hopes for a great job in another city. He does this out of desire and love for his wife. But of course, he also understands that Lisa’s rank will benefit both in the end. But after a few years, Andy becomes forgotten and irritated.  And Lisa looks at her life and she looks at Andy and she feels: “This is no longer the life I wanted.” Lisa eventually graduates from medical school, and considers divorce.  And at that point, that mediator might have asked: “What are you willing to give and what are you willing to owe?” Thus, in a divorce, Lisa will now surely owe Andy financial support for years to come. And Andy may have decided to make that job in that other city and perhaps both would have taken place in a few years while Lisa finished her medical degree. Lisa had an inheritance from her grandmother before their marriage.  And all their premarital and wedding resources were implicated, making the donation marital property. So in a divorce action, what will happen? They will have to sell the house and share the income, or one of them can buy the other’s part.

Here is the scenario of another couple, Emily and Deb. They live in a big city, they have two children, and they both work. Emily gets a job in a small town, and they decide to move there together. Deb cares for the children. Deb leaves behind a large family, her friends and a job she really liked. And in that small town, Deb starts to feel isolated and lonely. And 10 year later, Deb has an affair, and things start to fragment.

 

So, you need to think about what you want to keep separate and what you want to keep together before any divorce lawyer enters the scene.  Because you have to remember what is yours will surely become ours, unless you are actually guessing and taking steps to do otherwise. So, if our couples had thought about an eventual divorce perhaps they would have done things otherwise.

In summary, does it make sense to look at price tags attached to wedding decisions in accordance with the rules that a divorce decree ingratiates us to do? Couples should always consider their marital agreements through the lens of divorce. And, how do we deal with the fact that some spouses will hold property separately, and some things may be together, and if we do not really think about it, then it may all become a part of a joint endeavor? So basically, what I want to leave you with is that whether matrimony or divorce, people need to think about the possible roadway that until divorce do us part —– that a marriage could possibly turn out to be.

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